Friday, June 7, 2013

Adoption Update - Tying a Knot and Hanging On – 6.3.2013

We received a card yesterday from our pastor’s wife that had this quote from Franklin Roosevelt on the front cove: “When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.”  

As friends and family join us on this roller coaster of hope and disappointment, we receive words of encouragement, empathy, and support with each announcement.  “Think positive!”, “Stay strong!”, “Don’t give up!”, and “It will all work out!”.  But, when my heart was heaviest (last week) these vain promises just pulled me deeper down.  I yielded to a desperation fueled by fear.  I looked to my husband for strength, but he was as angry and hopeless as I was.  We had lost sight of God.  We were looking to the process, the works of men, to logic, and to our own strength. And when the devil had just about convinced us to walk away, we opened an email from my newly saved sister-in-law.  She did not try to sympathize. She did not try to coax us in to a false hope. She did not promise that it will all work out. She simple wrote:

"Wait on the Lord. Be of good courage. And He shall strengthen thine heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord.” –Psalm 27:14

God is not One for subtlety.  For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword.  It surely felt like I had been struck as I read that verse over and over.  “Wait on me” (not negotiable).  “Be of good courage” (I know you’ve seen a lot of disappointment- do it anyway).  “I will strengthen your heart” (That is a promise) “Wait, I say” (in case you thought it was a suggestion) “ on Me”.

I felt the power in this verse.  It was a command and we were to obey. But strangely, I found peace in that.  I said, “Yes, Lord.” and hid it in my heart. My daughter and I quoted it daily, sometimes hourly when needed over the next week. My husband and I sought council from godly friends and family as we prayed for a renewed hope in this process.  Right now, we’re living on faith. We have all these empty beds and no prospects to fill them. We’re at the end of our rope.  But, Psalm 27:14 is our knot.  We have nothing else to cling to but the promise of God, so we’re hanging on.



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