Thursday, June 13, 2013

Adoption Update - A Tempting Fork on a Narrow Road - 6.13.2013

For we have not a high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted as we are yet, with without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” – Hebrews 4:15-16

Making a declaration of faith is always a war cry.  But, never have I seen such a swift response as the temptation delivered this morning.  We had just determined to take God at his word. To commit to a path, to walk a narrow road, to trust in His will.  Then, we received a phone call from our caseworker. She had a question about a sibling group we had inquired on before God gave us such a pointed direction.  It is always thrilling to have a prospect, any prospect (and the devil knows that).  My flesh jumped ahead of my spirit and I immediately justified the parameter breach in my mind: “I know God just showed us that He was going to point us toward younger children, but…”  “Maybe God was just testing us….maybe He wasn’t really meaning under school age…maybe not all the children….maybe…maybe….HELP!

I called my husband to update him on the open opportunity and we both hit our knees, he in his office and I at the living room sofa.  Are we to continue on the path we were so sure He set us on?  Or are we to take this fork?  Which way, Lord?  I begged for confidence, for peace, and for confirmation.

My prayers were answered through a phone call from my sister. She immediately sensed my hesitation.  She identified fear, temptation, and a desperation that was understandable, but still faithless.  I knew she was right.  She delivered a rebuke that encompassed a year’s worth of doubts.  It was high time those were cleared out anyway.  When I spoke again with my husband we each shared our thoughts.  We agreed that if we were to pursue this group it would be out of fear rather than faith and we were ashamed to have considered it.

And as sure as we had claimed a victory, we received another call from our caseworker. Another sibling group. Another temptation. This one even more alluring than the first. What a wicked game the devil played with us. And yet, I’m glad. I feel my faith was strengthened, not only in resisting, but also in seeing the great escape the Lord leaves for us.  How sweet to find grace to help in time of need.  We are going to carry on down the narrow road. May God get the glory.

God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. -1 Corinthians 10:13


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