We were so sure we had found the kids God
had chosen for us. They were the right
age, the right genders, the right temperaments…they were even in our city! We didn't even know what they looked like, but we were ready to call them ours. Out of 60 families, we were chosen to be one
of the 5 possible candidates…but, we didn’t make the last cut.
Our caseworker endearingly scolded the children’s caseworker for
“missing out on the best family ever” and called us to break the bad news. I was disappointed, but I had a feeling like
it just wasn’t over yet. Although the door was obviously closed, I was sure there
was a window waiting to be opened. So, I
didn’t delete their info like I did the others, I stowed it away, waiting for
God’s big miracle...looking back a little as we sped forward once again.
Forward in to the unknown, waiting for a landmark, rest stop, or road sign. And as it had so many times before, the waiting turned to doubt (I am a slow learner, I know). And in my weakness, I
reverted back to my desperate searches online, hunting for “the right” kids, or
even the “close enough, let’s just get this over with” kids (shameful, I know),
inquiring on as many as possible to “turn the odds in our favor” (faithless, I
know). We even extended the age range to accommodate children way out of our comfort zone...and even our time zone.
Then, last night I went to bed regretting all the inquiries we
submitted and I prayed, “God, I’m doing it again. I’m back to trying to do
everything on my own. I’m being Sarah…trying to find an Ishmael when I should
be waiting for an Isaac. I’m sorry. We don’t want any of those kids we inquired
on. We want the ones you have for us…sight unseen….just bring them to us.”
And as if to remind us that His grace is sufficient (and He's still navigating), we got a phone call from our caseworker this morning. She said, “Well, your prayers must really be working. Remember the two little kids that we thought
were definitely going to be yours….but you weren’t selected for? One of the families dropped out…and y’all are
back in the running. The selection meeting is next Tuesday (the 9th).”
So, this is an update on our winding journey. An unexpected U-turn back toward hope. But, more importantly it is a plea for your prayers. There are two little children
waiting for a family. Our caseworker
and the caseworkers for two other families will meet with a committee of
advocates for the children next Tuesday to determine who that family will be. We want God to get the glory.
His will be done.
"And the LORD shall guide thee continually..." -Isaiah 58:11
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