Well, almost 4 months have passed since we last heard from our social worker. To be honest, we had begun to move on mentally. We were used to the fire extinguisher on the wall and the empty beds. We were even used to the waiting, but we had started to lose sight on what it all meant. For the last few weeks we had begun to question our position in the process. We thought about breaking away. We wondered about God's will in all of this. How could we know this is what He has planned for us?
Four months of waiting and when I finally recieved an email asking if we are ready to schedule our home visit, I hesitated. I had lost confidence in our purpose and I stepped away from the computer and asked weakly, "Is this really your will, Lord? That we bring strangers in to our home?" A few minutes later I opened my Bible and began reading where I had left off the day before, finding Matthew 25: 34-35, which reads: "Then shall the King say to them on His right hand, Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: For I was hungry, and you gave me meat: I was thirsty, and you gave me drink: I was a stranger, and you took Me in..."
God is always faithful to answer my desperate inquiries. So, we march onward....across the water....carried by faith alone.
Our home visit is tenatively scheduled for next week. From what we understand our caseworker will come out, inspect our home (fire inspection) and conduct interviews with each member of our family individually, as well as together as a group. It is almost like a compatibility profile they will use to "match" us to the "right" children. We can not even imagine facing this circumstance without the absolute confidence in our Lord and his divine intervention. We believe He goes before us and has prepared the hearts of the "right" children and will lead the process lovingly along until we are placed with our "match". We pray that the Lord will give us the words to speak so that our answers best represent our family and faith.
We stand apart from other pre-adoptive placement parents in every class we have taken so far. We are not seeking "a healthy caucasian infant" like most of our infertile classmates. God has given us that blessing in Tessie. And could likely bless us in that manner again. But, against all logic and cultural norms, we feel called to open our home to a sibling set...a group that have been orphaned and left in the care of the state. Yes, that means more than one...up to 3 actually! I know this is the point where you lean back from your computer and throw your hands up saying, "What?? Are they crazy?? They are going to go from one kid to four????" Maybe we are crazy, but there are thousands of little souls in need of peace, stability, training, and love... so, we will take as many as the Lord feels we can provide for.
Don't think we are not humbled by the challenge. The faith expected of us in this circumstance is greater than any challenge we have yet faced. If we were awaiting the birth of a baby, we would at least know a relative due date, possible gender, and have the unconditional support of adoring family members all awaiting the little bundle. This process (adoption through foster care) is cold, clinical, and vague. The excitement is tempered with caution, frustration, and LOTS OF PATIENCE.
So, we wait...with 3 empty beds...and prepare our hearts.
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." -Hebrews 11:1
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