Adoption Update: Running in the Dark - 2.17.2012

Well, what began with one careful step has now become a full sprint….forward…in the dark.  We are halfway through the licensing classes and the process so far has been very clinical.  LOTS OF PAPERWORK!!  We’re starting to wonder if it isn’t more of an elimination process (based on endurance and resolution) than a qualifying experience where we achieve an understanding or skills needed.  Most of the assignments are psychological evaluations of our own childhoods or vague, confusing projects like “write a letter to your adoptive children” (when you don’t know who they are, what age they are, what gender they are, how many of them they are….etc).   

 Our “teacher” is more of a facilitator and doesn’t tend to have concrete answers to anybody’s questions. Our class is pretty large (about 20 couples) and it’s clear her caseload is a bit over her head.  We are just trying to comply with all the requirements (the ones we know about and the ones that get sprung on us) and get it over with.  Our friends and family have been encouraging, reminding us that the Lord will bring us through…and the frustration and doubt we feel are just wily attacks from the devil.
We had our initial Home Assessment on Tuesday.  Our caseworker went through a list of “Minimum Standards of Safety” and did a walk through. She met Tessie, who smiled sweetly and sat in Daddy’s lap quietly while we talked (even Sophie was on her best behavior and didn’t bark, lick, or jump).  Now it’s a mad scramble to draw out a fire escape plan, install extra smoke detectors,  purchase and mount a 5lb fire extinguisher,  plug wall outlets, and put the child safety locks back on the cabinets that we had just determined we no longer needed a few months ago. There are three pages of other requirements that we fortunately already met. 

It feels like we have just been running 24/7 for the last month….Especially Charlie -between starting his new job (which he loves, by the way!), a little longer hours, 8 hour classes on his only day off, church and errands (like buying and installing fire extinguishers….) on Sundays….it’s all been a bit of a blur.  Tessie has done great with all the hussle and bussle. She has made a great leap in maturity lately and her behavior, attitude, and language skills all seemed to have jumped and leveled out at a 4-5 year old level.  She has been wonderfully helpful, and as sweet and amusing as ever. Charlie and I just smile when we think about the joy she’ll bring to her new siblings.  Our final licensing class will be on the 25^th, but there are (we just found out on Tuesday) 2 more required classes in March before our home study can be scheduled. We are still unclear about the timeline ahead (even after asking directly on many occasions). So, we truly have to depend on the Lord’s leading, which is terrifying and wonderful, as always.  We ask for your continued prayers as this path is revealed to us.  I will update again soon (perhaps when things settle down).

“For thou art my lamp, O LORD: and the LORD will lighten my darkness.”

~2 Samuel 22:29

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Adoption Update: The First Step - 1.1.2012

 

“Doth not he see my ways and count all my steps?” –Job 31:4

We hear the encouragement of our pastor almost weekly to take “steps in our faith” during his Sunday morning sermons.  Sometimes he takes baby steps behind the pulpit to illustrate, and sometimes he makes great, dramatic strides as he shares the truth in God’s word.  Charlie and I hang on every mention of such “leaps in faith” as we encounter the task we believe the Lord has set before us this year: To adopt. 

The process begins February 4^th and could likely take up to a year before any children are placed in our home. However, it could also be as little as a few months and the whole legal process could be completed before the end of the year. Either way, may God’s will be done.

We are adopting through the foster care system and do not know who or how old the children are that the Lord will bring in to our lives (we must complete licensing classes, pass home visits, meet with social workers, review case files….before we even meet any children). , but we are praying for his protection, guidance, and wisdom.  We know our family and friends will have fears and concerns about “the dangers” of taking in children with rough backgrounds, but we are not going in to this blindly and have our trust in the wisdom of the Lord for making appropriate decisions to protect our family. 

Although it has been on our hearts for a long time, the decision to follow through has been fairly recent.   We are entering the process with both courage and vigilance.  As the devil tempts us with doubts, I find my resolve strengthening.   After discussing our plans to adopt recently, someone commented, “Tessie is so perfect…she is so smart and so sweet and she always listens (a slight exaggeration). Your home is always peaceful and positive…even your dog is well behaved and easy.  Everything is so great….Are you sure you want to ruin it?”   I passionately responded, “No. We want to share it.”  This is truly the sentiment of our hearts.  The Lord has blessed us abundantly.

Why are we adopting? Why are we “risking it”? Why are we taking this step?  We enjoy a peaceful home…and know some children have never known peace. Tessie has two dedicated parents…and we know some children don’t have any. We have the financial, practical, and tangible means to provide for those who have nothing…and an open heart to love those that have nobody. We have supportive friends, a church family, a fun yard, a spacious home, a sweet dog, a full pantry, and the gospel to share….so, why not?

Charlie is sure that my teaching experience and parenting instincts will be enough to offer to the children the Lord brings in to our home.  But, I believe that the solidarity and security Charlie provides as the leader of our home will be the bigger blessing.  I know from experience that a little stability can go a long way…especially for the hurting hearts we will soon encounter.  Tessie is strong and resilient. She continues to show the compassion, cooperation, and courage that we believe will aid in the transition of her new siblings in to our family….no matter their age or gender.

We will, of course, keep everyone posted as the process continues as we have done with all the previous steps, leaps, and stumbles in the past.  We ask for prayers of peace, a guiding hand, and lots of patience.

                                    Love,

                                         The Priest Family

“Order my steps in thy word: and let not any iniquity have dominion over me.” – Psalm 119:133

A little testimony:

When Charlie and I first met one of the first serious conversations we shared was about adoption.  He shared his intentions to adopt to avoid handing down the adversity, torment, and insecurity he endured with his cleft palate surgeries (18 over 18 years) and I shared my unexplained (and sometimes unharnessed) passion for the injustices of this world that left me wanting to teach, heal, and help the helpless.  

We kept the topic on the table after we were married, but were soon consumed with surviving the California economy, a retail work schedule, and the trials of the transition in to married life. With Charlie’s cleft palate fears and my longing not to start a family among the tension, we both defensively responded to the baby questions with, “I think we’ll get a dog first.”  We were surely unprepared for parenthood and thankfully the Lord honored that.  By God’s grace we found ourselves in Texas, purchasing a home, starting new jobs, finding instant friends, and within 2 months…adopting a dog.  We were grateful for the time God allowed in our relationship for “getting situated”, but were still fearful to take the step in to parenthood and just hoped for more time.  When the baby questions came our new response was, “Well, we haven’t finished the house yet (it was a stripped foreclosure).  We need to at least install all the light fixtures…”  And I’m sure the Lord smirked when I found out I was pregnant just a few weeks after Charlie installed the last ceiling fan.   The irony was not lost on us and we had to concede we had run out of excuses and postponements and God had decided it was time we take a step.    Even with the assurance of a healthy pregnancy and several clear ultrasounds, Charlie carried his fear until the minute Tessie came in to the world and he could check for himself.  She was strong, healthy….and no cleft palate.  Tessie has been a beautiful blessing in our life and a constant reminder to be open to the Lord’s leading, since he surely knows better than us.

Almost a year ago, amid all the changes, career transitions, financial struggles, and other unknowns, we felt a prompting to prepare our hearts for a larger family…another step.  But, this step was different….bigger.  Charlie and I both felt that we should look in to adoption.   We did a lot of research and although our hearts were in it 100%, we had doubts about the timing.  We were hunting for a church at this time and were trying to get a bearing on our core beliefs.  We agreed that we would not continue to pursue adoption until we found a church.  The Lord directed us toward Tri-County within a month.  Our new church family provided the godly friends, the challenging guidance,  the discipleship, and the  support system we will surely need as we face the unknowns ahead.

We teetered on the fence for the second half of the year, loving the idea of going forward with the adoption process, but unsure about a lot of things including the financial burden it would require.  We went to an information meeting and were newly inspired to “deliver the poor and needy” and “defend the poor and fatherless” although we weren’t sure how it would be possible, since Charlie had been seeking a promotion for 4-5 months and was beginning to get discouraged.  When the year came to a close, he was made aware that he would not be allowed any Saturdays off during Wells Fargo’s “Jump in to January” sales month, so we figured the licensing classes (held on 4 consecutive Saturdays) weren’t going to work out and that this must be God’s will.  Although, when we heard from the DFPS agent she said, “I’m sorry, there are no classes available until February.” A blessing in disguise!   Charlie said, “I want to do it, but I would just feel a lot better if I got a promotion first.” We reluctantly signed up for the classes and continued to pray for a job opportunity for Charlie. And as the Lord had provided so many times before, Charlie was offered an interview for a job that hadn’t even applied for and eventually offered the position – a promotion- just two weeks before our first licensing class is to start!  Amen.  So, here we stand. Behind us we see the path that brought us here, clearly lit with miracles. And ahead we see the path we have not yet traveled, dark and obscure, but surely strewn with miracles, as well.  There is only one way to find out: We must take a step!

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5th Annual Family Gingerbread House Challenge -2011

Mr. Steady and I decorated a gingerbread house together the first year we were married. It wasn't much to look at, but we had fun!

We have continued this tradition, each year stepping up our game a little.  Our favorite part is the blind vote.  We ask our family, friends, and YOU to vote on your favorite (without revealing the respective designer of each one).

This year we branched out from the pre-made kits and designed our own architecture with graham crackers (not easy in the humidity!)
Here are this year's entries.... 

1. Tri-County is our beloved church where Tessie attends Bible Bees.....

2. The Farm House (as Tessie calls it) is our dream home.

 

 

Cast your vote in the comment box!

 

"And in to whatsoever house you enter say first, Peace be to this house."  - Luke 10:5

In the Looking Glass - A Parent's Reflection

Krome Kitten Etsy Shop

“The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.” –Proverbs 20:7

A child first learns through observation, and as development progresses, though imitation.  In their diligent mimicry you will find a reflection of yourself, your words, your actions, your attitudes, and your faith. Anyone who has or has had a toddler is aware of their shadowing and echoing tendencies. When you are not even aware that you say or do something until you hear or see your 2 year old doing it, this discovery can be a rude awakening. We have all seen the cliché movie/comic/tvshow scene where a parent exasperatedly asks, “Now where did you learn a thing like that?” and the laugh track begins…. From the outside we know EXACTLY where that child learned it…from the only source available to him…the example his parents have set. 

 When my two year old put her baby doll in time-out, lovingly explained her offense and punishment, waited for an imaginary timer, made the doll apologize, gave her hugs and kisses, and warned her not to repeat her mistakes, I was pretty proud of myself.  Her language skills are just beginning to take form and I am always thrilled to hear her newest use of words.  When she asks me first thing in the morning, “Did you have good dreams?”, or tells me, “Good job, Mommy. I am so proud of you.” It makes me smile. I proudly recall using these delightfully familiar phrases before her speech arrived and it’s great to know she was listening. However, when she tells our dog “Stop barking, Sophie. Do I need to beat you?” or says, “yah yah yah” in response to a correction,  I am instantly humbled.  (FYI: We don’t actually beat our dog, it’s just a phrase I used in frustration when I didn’t know anyone was listening).

 Our pastor’s message last Sunday was about “having peace with God and having the peace of God” about your life.  I feel I can best assess the peace I carry about who I am by recalling something I learned in a child psychology course:

“When parenting is not delivered justly and deliberately, the worst case scenario is your children can turn out just like you.” So, I ask: Am I at peace with that possibility?  Am I okay if my children have the same limitations, fears, weaknesses, and vices as me? Will I have peace knowing my children have been passively trained to think like me, act like me, react like me, and cope like me? Can I look at my reflection with confidence? My child’s curiosity and eager imitations don’t take in to account who I would like to be or who I have been. Who I am right now is the example I am setting. My home, my lifestyle, my environment, my friends, my habits, and my hobbies are leaving a lasting impression on my child.   God takes the role of our Father, but in our disobedience and confusion, instead of yelling, grounding, or the dreaded “do as I say, not as I do”, He sent Christ as a living example for us to follow.

When my husband and I adopted I Timothy 4:12 (“….set the believers an example in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity.”) as our family motto, we dared God to make us good examples through humility and growth.  We challenged ourselves to become aware of our influence, our training style, and our modeling. We continue to strive to follow Jesus, in order to properly convey His example in our parenting. And when we wonder how we are doing…how much we have grown…or if we are still on track…all we have to do is look at our reflection: our daughter.

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” –Proverbs 22:6

…here is to knowing exactly where they learned it from…and being at peace.

Crazy Messy Fun - Corn Starch Goo - Fun Summer Activities

Is it liquid? Is it solid? Is it fun?

The answer is YES! 

See for yourself with this simple recipe:

 1 cup part water

2 cups parts corn starch

(recipe can be halved, doubled, tripled....)

 Not only is it an excellent sensory activity ( perfect for the sensory table ) but it is also a science lesson! Why does it have both liquid and solid properties? Why does it feel firm if tapped quickly?  What does Non-newtonian mean?   Try to answer these questions and more as you squeeze, drip, scoop, and poke this mysterious substance.

You can even add food coloring to it for an extra goo-like appearance!

 

CLEAN UP: It is better to just let it dry and brush it off than to try to wash it off while it is still wet.

MORE ABOUT NON-NEWTONIAN FLUIDS....

Good Clean Fun - Sensory Table - Fun Summer Activities

Sensory development is key in early childhood, especially (NOT unless) your child tends to be overly sensitive to sights, sounds, textures, and temperatures.  The more familiar they can become with new sensations, the less anxiety will arise upon new situations.  During the toddler "explorative" phase is the perfect time to introduce the opportunity to explore. 

Sensory tables are ridiculously expensive and not always very practical to clean or relocate (those lessons were learned the hard way during my years in a classroom).  So, as our daughter got her sea legs and was ready to start exploring, my husband and I put our heads together to create our own table that was perfect for our curious toddler (then 15 months old....now still enjoying it at 25 months).  

We started with a shallow, rectangular tupperware box with a well fitting lid. Then we basically built the frame around it with some left over plywood we had. We made sure all edges were sanded and smooth, then begin filling it!

WARNING: Please be sure to supervise your children during their "exploration" especially while they are still in the oral phases.

A few fun ideas for toddlers:

1. Water
2. Soap and Water
3. Dry Rice (with little bugs or small toys to bury and find)

4. Cooked Pasta noodles

5. Autumn Leaves

6. Flour

7. Shaving Cream

8. Cotton Balls

9. Finger paint

10.Oatmeal

A sensory table can be a great, portable, easy to clean way for lots of crazy messy fun with older kids too!

A few fun ideas for ages 4+:
1. Ice Cubes
2. Sand with sand toys and shovels
3. Insta-snow
4. Oobleck  (1 part water, 1 1/2 parts corn starch....add food coloring if you want!)
5. Moon sand
6. Polymer Crystals

Clean up and storage:

Simply remove the box from the frame and hose it out, let dry and replace.  If the kids are still playing, but need to abandon the table for a meal or other activities, just put the lid in place to protect it from the elements, or curious critters. =)

Here's to a wet, soft, sticky, slimy, sudsy, rough, slippery, squishy, smooth, firm, and fun summer! 

Crazy Messy Fun - Marblized Paper - Summer Art Activities

 

This post contains affiliate links.

 

Here is another colorful project that I love sharing with my students (and my daughter got a kick out of it too!)

Here is what you'll need:
1. Liquid watercolor (LOVE this stuff!) or food coloring (keep in mind that food coloring is NOT washable and will stain your hands, clothing, and anything within spitting distance).
2. Shaving Cream....any old store brand will work, choose a scent that is pleasing because your paper will hold it for a while!  ( I buy the one for "sensitive skin" so the kids can play in it once the project is over!)
3. Stirring sticks....you can use anything from toothpicks to popsicle sticks...whatever pointy object you have lying around.
4. Paper....cut it in to any size or shape before the project....or after!
5. A scraper (I use a shower squeegee...but a firm piece of cardboard, or a spackle knife will work!)
6. A hard, flat, washable surface - a table....a washable mat....even a plastic cutting board will work!

Okay...so here are the directions - so simple!
Step 1. Spray some shaving cream on the flat surface (about an inch or so deep and large enough of an area to cover your paper size)

Step 2. Drip some paint on to surface of foam in random order.

Step 3. Use your stirring stick to create a swirl pattern with the colored foam

Step 4. Place your paper, face down, on to the foam and press down all the edges (nice and squishy!)

Step 5. Remove the paper from the foam and place it on the table

Step 6. Use your scraper to remove the foam from the surface of the paper....VOILA!! The color stays!

Step 7. Set your paper aside to dry (dries very quickly and cannot be smudged or damaged, but will stick together if stacked while wet).

 You can use your completed marble paper for wrapping gifts, adorning cards, or framing!
Now, go....create!  

Or....you could get on to more important business, like.....

This.

Or this.

The Power of Prayer - Our New Family Motto

Our daugther, now 2, has entered the stage of development that we were warned about since her birth. "When she starts copying everything you do and say....that's when you have to START setting a good example."   And I am ashamed to say that we are just now "Starting" to set that example.  The last two years we have loved and nutured her and tried to teach her right from wrong...but our attempts were aimless at best.  Just before her second birthday my husband and I decided to officially sit down and work out our family guidlines, rules, boundaries, and goals. We decided our motto would be "Be an example to others" and were trying to compile a list of traits to accompany it.  Here is a great reference that we started with:  The 49 Character Qualities of Christ http://ati.iblp.org/ati/family/curriculum/characterqualities.pdf?show=true

We each made a list of our top 5 most important qualities then compared notes.  I chose my five with confident intuition. My husband scoured the Bible, looked up definitions and scripture, took notes, and finally made a careful list.  Ironically, we basically came to the same conclusions. But, after working on it a few days, praying for guidance, and frankly feeling a little frustrated, I opened the Bible from my youth and came across a bookmark that I had always treasured, but had long forgotten. The bookmark read:  "Don't let anyone look down on you for being young, but set an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity." ~Timothy 4:12

Old faded bookmark, same inspiring scripture!

I thanked God for his divine guidance and quickly printed, mounted, and framed the scripture in clear bold letters... As I found the perfect place to hang it, I thought of how benificial it will be to have boundaries, spritual expectations, and a clear reminder for our daughter as she grows...to learn to be an example of Christ's love...We were so proud to have our "lesson plan" all set to teach our daughter. But, when I hung it up and we read it over a few times, we realized those words are not just meant for her tiny little eyes and ears. They are a compelling reminder and a spiritual challenge for my husband and I (and all who visit our home) to be an example in everything we do, say, and are.

Overall it was a fun experience that helped us grow as parents and as believers. I reccomend digging for your own family motto no matter how old your children are...sometimes we need it more than they do, anyway.

Here is to learning and growing while you teach! 

Crazy Messy Fun: Color Mixing - Summer Art Activities

This post contains affiliate links.

 

Whether you are a child or just a child at heart, a fundamental understanding of color will empower you to make confident decisions in your artwork and help create an order within the chaos of your creativity.
So, how does one go about "understanding color"?  Its a process. And analyzing a color wheel only gets you so far.  Most of us need to learn by doing...by seeing...by making...

This awesome color mixing activity requires only a few recycled items and is entertaining AND educational! 

 

Here are the items needed:

1. A clear (or white) plastic (or Styrofoam) egg carton, cut in half.

2. An eye dropper (or medication dropper)

3. (3) applesauce containers (or small cups)

4. Liquid Watercolor (LOVE this stuff!)

5. Paper (optional)

6. Copy of Color wheel (optional)

You can dilute the colors (and extend the workability) by starting with a bit of water in each of the egg carton spaces.

Fill the three small cups with the primary colors (red, blue, and yellow)

Model the proper way to use the eye dropper...taking color from the primary cups and joining them in the egg carton to create new colors.

 Discuss the color combinations before you allow them to begin (older children) or as they are mixing (younger children).

 If all the color spaces have been filled and your child is still interested in mixing, offer a second or third egg carton (either wash that original one and use again, or use multiple empty ones) .

If you or your little artist would like to use their new unique mixtures to create artwork, provide white construction paper (on a mat, washable surface, or outside) and let them use the eye droppers to create a colorful masterpiece (you could also use a paintbrush, of course...but squirting is very fun!).

Here's to a colorful summer!!

Good Clean Fun: The Cardboard Box

How great are cardboard boxes??  From my early childhood development education, I know that simple, open-ended play items such as a box stimulate creativity, problems solving, and brain development.  From my own childhood, I know that playing with a box is SO MUCH FUN!!   We have a toy box full of toys from friend and relatives for my two year old. My daughter picks through it every few days and plays for a minute or two with each item.  But, a cardboard box.....that's more fun that a barrel of monkeys! Or a wind-up dog....or a singing duck...or any other complicated invention that has been created to "entertain" children.  Children are designed with their own built-in entertainment...it's called imagination!!  And an empty box seems to unlock it best. Next time you walk down the toy isle at Target, have the courage to walk right past the Rescue Heroes and Barbie dolls...to walk past the Tickle Me Elmos and the Leapsters....past the video games and dvds...past the Webkins and Bakugan cards...and go home and give your child an empty box!

 Look...a boat!!

A turtle shell!

  A house!

 A secret hideout!

A "cool bus" (school bus)

And Noah's ark!!

Here's to a child's imagination....and the courage to use it!